Shower Blog

So I have an idea.  I am tired of always having to share a room with Porcelain Pete.  You know how some places have a half bath?  Like it’s just the toilet?  Why not make it more common for the other half to be around.  You know, no Tommy Toilet.  Just a shower.  I’m so tired of it being stinky in my room.

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The ants are gone.

Today was a new nightmare. He had an accident in his pants. Instead of fessing up and admitting what he had done to his girlfriend, he took off his pants, hung them in me, and let my water spray over them for 45 minutes.

That’s right kiddies. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a brown stream of water flow off of demin into your floor.

Gross.

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You put poison in my body.

All because you were naughty.

Why do you try to censor my rants?

Why must you murder all these ants?

Jemima never gave you any troubles.

Why can’t she coexist with the Scrubbing Bubbles.

Woe.

Woe is me.

Eternal Slumber.

Death has dialed your number.

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So, she cleaned the orange out of me. She asked how an orange peel got inside the shower. Christian blamed it on their cat, Kisses. I know it wasn’t Kisses. He knows it wasn’t Kisses. Kisses knows it wasn’t Kisses. But I digress.

The ants are still invading my cool porcelain body. I have named of few of them. There is Jemima, Bea, Ruth, Flo, and Acid. I’m so clever.

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Last night, he used me like a garbage can. He sat on the toilet, read an article in Marie Claire, and ate an orange. When he was done with the orange, he threw the peel inside of me, and left.

When the light came on this morning, I had ants. Thanks, friend. Thanks a lot.

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My first day back home.  How am I greeted?  He humped my floor to climax.  Let me elaborate.  Christian turned on the water, opened my curtain, hopped in, then started working it on my floor.  He even grunted “Oh Prince Adam, you’re so noble.”  I don’t know what he was talking about.  Then he started getting into it, then screamed “I have the power!”  After that he turned the water off.  HE DIDN’T EVEN SHOWER.  He just had his way with my floor and moved on.

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Sorry guys, I know it’s been a while.  It’s summer so you know what that means–I have to go to my dad’s house.  Which isn’t that bad except HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A COMPUTER.  So no, I haven’t forgotten, but my pictures are on my computer at home.  I had to come to the library to post this.  Ugh.  Really, who doesn’t own a computer in this day and age?

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Woo!  I am glad that is over.  So what have I been up to?  Well finals week was a nightmare.   So much studying, so much test taking.  Well after that nightmare, Toiletmouth surprised me with a trip to the Bahamas.  Can you believe it?  I guess we’re getting kinda serious.  I’ll post my pictures up here later this week.

ttfn

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So it’s been a long week.  Finals are coming up.  I’ve been studying my curtain off.  I just can’t wait to let loose, put my washcloth up, and pour some alcohol down my drain.

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Today was payday I guess. He finally bought some goddamn Quilted Charmin.

My days of pain are over.

Now if he’d just scrub my bottom…

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