Shower Blog

Shower wrote this 7:14 am:

Well, that was a close call.  I took like four home tests and they all said negative.  We’re going to have to be a lot more careful from now on.

Filed under: Uncategorized
No Comments

Shower wrote this 8:30 am:

So some people are asking questions about me and I found this thing on myspace so I figured I’d share it with you.

1.WHAT WERE YOU DOING LAST NIGHT AT MIDNIGHT?
Letting those Scrubbing Bubbles work their magic (I know, I’m bad)

2. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
My curtain is blue.

3. FAVORITE STORE?
Bed Bath and Beyond.

4. DO YOU HAVE “A THING” FOR ANYONE ON YOUR TOP 8?
(some of these don’t transfer well, because it’s from my myspace page, but the answer was yes)

5. HOW MANY PEOPLE ON YOUR LIST DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE?
(some of these don’t transfer well, because it’s from my myspace page, but the answer was two or three)

6. DO YOU HOLD GRUDGES?
Yes.

7.HAVE YOU EVER HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN?
Yeah…freshman year

8. DO YOU HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH BOTH YOUR PARENTS?
Never knew my dad. My mom is a bitch though.

9. MOST RECENT MOVIE THAT YOU WATCHED IN THE THEATER?
Catch and Release

10. NAME A THING THAT YOU HAVE ON YOU AT ALL TIMES?
My shampoo holder.

11. WOULD YOU RATHER GIVE OR RECEIVE A FOOT MASSAGE?
Give. I do it every day!

12. NAME A TEACHER YOU HAD THE HOTS FOR:
My algebra teacher is ok, I guess.

13. HOW MUCH CASH DO YOU HAVE ON YOU RIGHT NOW?
None. I’m so poor, teehee.

14. WHO’S THE 4TH PERSON ON YOUR RECEIVED CALL LIST?
Christian (he’s also 3, 2, and 1)

15. WHAT’S YOUR MAIN RINGTONE ON YOUR PHONE?
So Fresh and So Clean - Outkast

16. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP?
5:25AM

17. WHAT WERE YOU DOING TWO NIGHTS AGO AT MIDNIGHT?
Scrubbing Bubbles (I can’t help myself )

18. HOW MANY EX’S ARE ON YOUR entire FRIENDS LIST?
None, I don’t want them to have anything to do with me.

19. DO YOU LIKE HAVING YOUR HAIR PULLED?
Maybe…

20. FAVORITE CITY?
Paris, ooh la la

21. FAVORITE COLOR?
Blue

22. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR?
My test to come in.

23. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM?
This morning. I wish I didn’t ever have to.

24. DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR SIBLINGS?
I’m an only shower.

25. THE ONE THING YOU WANT MOST?
My test to come in negative.

26. IF YOU HAD $250,000…HOW WOULD YOU SPEND IT?
Clothes. Tons of clothes.

27. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN AT YOUR CURRENT JOB?
I don’t work, I’m in school, silly.

28. IS TOM ON YOUR FRIENDS LIST?
(some of these don’t transfer well, because it’s from my myspace page, but the answer was yes)

29. LAST THING YOU SAID OUT LOUD?
See ya

30. LAST PERSON YOU HUGGED?
Christian

31. LAST THING YOU SPENT OVER $100 ON?
$100? I wish!

32. WHAT KIND OF SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
None

33. WHAT’S THE LAST PIECE OF CLOTHING YOU BORROWED FROM ANYONE?
A curtain from a friend at school.

34. DO YOU DRIVE?
Not yet.

35. MOST VISITED WEBPAGE?
myspace and my blog.

36. LAST PERSON YOU TEXT MESSAGED?
Jane

37. DO YOU HAVE AN AIR FRESHENER IN YOUR CAR?
No car.

38. DO YOU HAVE ANY PLANTS IN YOUR ROOM?
Nah, my mom won’t let me…bitch.

39. FAVORITE DRINK?
water

40. LAST E-MAIL RECEIVED?
something from my grandma

41. CURRENT PAIN IN/ON YOUR BODY?
My floor sometimes

42. LAST TAXI RIDE?
Never been.

43. LAST ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
Corona

44. IF SOMEONE YOU HATED DIED, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
Celebrate.

45. DO YOU OWN A CAMERA PHONE?
Why, yes I do.

46. WHAT ZODIAC SIGN IS YOUR BF/GF?
I play the field.

47. FAVORITE STARBUCKS DRINK?
Venti Mocha latte

48. FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
Pineapple

49. DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE IN LOVE?
Yes.

50. IF YOU ANSWERED NO, DO YOU THINK IT’S POSSIBLE TO?
(its possible)

51. IF YOUR BF/GF CHEATED ON YOU, WOULD YOU GIVE THEM A SECOND CHANCE?
Probably. Everyone messes up.

52. MOST RECENT TIME YOU WERE REALLY UPSET?
Today.

53. ARE YOU THINKING OF SOMEONE RIGHT NOW?
Yes

Filed under: Uncategorized
No Comments

Shower wrote this 6:29 am:

So last week that Spanish dude and I were having a little fun and…there’s no easy way to say this. I think he came in me. Now, it’s been a week and I am late. Not late to class or anything. Late, late. I can’t believe this could happen to me. I’ve always been so careful. I always use a shower liner. Hell, I even always have a shower mat in case things get slippy.

I just don’t want to be known as the pregnant shower at prom.

Filed under: Uncategorized
1 Comment

Shower wrote this 7:24 pm:

Remember when I wasn’t sure if he pissed in me? Well, I confirmed. He did. You know how I know? He did it again! Can you believe it? The toilet is like five feet away. I am not just some bitch in an R Kelly video. You can’t just drop trou and do as you will with me. As a great prophet once said “Don’ be pissin’ in no showa.”

This is ridiculous. Maybe I’ll clog up to teach him a lesson.

Not to mention, my life is a total train wreck right now. Prom is like right around the corner and you think I’ve worked up the nerve to ask anyone yet? Of course not! My mom says I am a loser and I am destined to live alone. I say my mom is a cunt. I hate her.

Filed under: Uncategorized
1 Comment

Shower wrote this 8:12 am:

Born from you. used, abused

When I emerged. shiny, new

Your very being. annoying, hatred

I hope you die. mother, mother

Then I will be free. mother, mother

You gave me life, now I take yours. crimson, mother

Filed under: Poem
No Comments

Shower wrote this 9:34 am:

I…I think…

I think he might have pissed in me.

Filed under: Uncategorized
No Comments

Shower wrote this 8:05 pm:

Someone left me a comment on my last post. He called me gay. Can you believe that? I put my heart on the line here and some intolerant Cheney-lover posts a hateful comment on my blog.

Easter is coming up. I’m excited. Christian gets festive for holidays. Usually, around this time of year he swaps out his usual loofah for on of the pastel variety. Sometimes I get tired of my room being the same all the time so I look forward to change.

I don’t want to sound like a whiner, but he spit in me today. How would you like it if I spit on your feet while we were hanging out? Not cool, man. Not cool.

Ugh, my mom is bothering me again, she wants me to do my homework. When am I ever going to use the pythagorian theorum in the real world? Geometry is so dumb.

Filed under: Uncategorized
No Comments

Shower wrote this 2:00 pm:

So I was browsing the web looking at some *ahem* sites, and I came across the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. You guys don’t understand. She’s gorgeous. She has so much class.

I want to send her an e-mail, but last time I started talking to a girl online, she ended up being a shower stall from Kansas. Yuck.

Anyway, I gotta jet, I have a date with some Scrubbing Bubbles.

Filed under: Uncategorized
1 Comment

Shower wrote this 7:07 am:

How do I introduce myself? Well, I’m a shower. Not in the metaphorical sense that we are all showers, I am a shower. White plaster. But don’t judge me, I’m not racist, I’m down with the brothers. In fact, this spanish dude uses me on a daily basis. When I say “used me,” I mean he uses me. I usually feel like less of a person when he’s done. Imagine my soul as a pepperoni pizza. Every time he showers, a piece of my soul is taken away. Sometimes it’s just a slice of pepperoni, sometimes it’s a whole slice.

Today it was just some cheese. He hopped in me, singing “Happy Birthday” or some shit. It wasn’t long until he was blaring the soundtrack to Rent. Yeah, I have my suspicions about his sexuality. Sometimes when he’s on the toilet, I catch him glancing below my curtain. Who does that?

Filed under: Uncategorized
No Comments